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u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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