Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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