1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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