She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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