i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
