i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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