Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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