Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
