What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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