I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
