i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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