There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
