i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
