dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
