I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
nutella sex= disaster
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
