so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
