i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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