I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
