Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
