I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
