do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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