Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
