The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
