she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
try to milk me bitch
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