I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
