Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
