It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
