I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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