if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
