VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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