Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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