All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
