do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
