I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
