Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
