kristin has been a bad kristin
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
