they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
