yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
