3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
