I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
