you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
