And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
