You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
