Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
