drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
