he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
