blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
