first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
it was like eating out sand paper
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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