is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
