I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It's Friday. Sex?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
